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Real Church Typos....
- Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.
- Thursday night-potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
- The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julie Belzer.
- This afternoon there will be a meeting at the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
- Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk please come early.
- Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
- Thursday at 5 PM will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to became Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
- This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.
- The service will close with "Little Drops of Water". One of the ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation will join in.
- Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
- The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.
- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the hall. Music will follow.
- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double doors at the side entrance.
- The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
- Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
- Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones.
- Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
- The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
- Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
- The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge -- Up Yours."
Contributed by firstname.lastname@example.org
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