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Truth isn't only black or white. It's grays, plaids, polka-dots. Why, if God is to be believed, many truths are brilliant. A lily, lit by a setting sun, reminded me of one: Things don't have to last forever to be beautiful. "98k" 800x600 "140k" 1024x768 |
I took this picture within a week after I'd bought my Nikon 880. They say you should only shoot when shadows are long because it makes the colors pop. As you can see, 'they' spoke the truth.
When it comes to romance, everyone wants to make sure they're not wasting time. "Is this the one?" Which one? "You know, the one that will last a lifetime." I think that's a bad way to look at it. I've seen some pretty rotten relationships last a lifetime. A lifetime of hell is no prize.
How can we enjoy discovering what we're to be to one another? Now to me, that's a much better question. Not every relationship is meant to last a lifetime. But every relationship can provide education, entertainment, joy, laughter, beautiful memories. Maybe it is for life, but if it isn't, that doesn't negate it's beauty for it's time.
If you want marriage and the other person doesn't, their values are every bit as important as yours. Anyone looking for a serious commitment has a right to find it. But if two people fall in love and one wants commitment and the other doesn't, no one is at fault. No one needs to be changed. Either stay longer or go sooner but either way - no one owes anyone a commitment they're not ready for. You don't have to marry everyone you fall in heat with, you don't even have to marry everyone you fall in love with. Just because you can fall in love with someone doesn't necessarily mean you can stay in love with them after the infatuation has ended and you've been roommates for a few years. Sometimes we grow in different directions. It happens.
I remember seeing Cybil Shepard interviewed once. She was asked how she felt about her marriage that had failed after only three years. She replied that she didn't see it as a failure. It was a beautiful marriage. I think it's a shame when people treat every relationship that doesn't last to the grave as a failure.
My mother influenced my beliefs about love a lot. Throughout my childhood, from time to time, she'd run us kids out of the house so she and her girlfriends could talk privately. I was ultra nosey. Anything kids weren't supposed to hear, I felt like I had to hear. So I'd sneak back in quietly, hide just behind the doorway and listen in. I learned she'd been quite the romantic party girl in her day. She'd loved many boyfriends dearly. And she delighted in remembering the beginnings and endings, the highs and lows. Those guys weren't her Mister Right, but they were wonderful memories in the making. Unlike some folks who suffer the endings so much it defiles their memories of the good times, she let them go and dried her tears on the next boyfriend's shoulder.
One of the strongest indicators of whether or not you'll ever marry again is how easily you let go of a relationship that has ended. People who hold on to a broken heart for years, are the ones most likely to stay unmarried the longest and the most likely to stay unmarried forever. Cause while you're obsessed with the past, good choices are walking right by you and you can't even see them. So what if it was beautiful, so what if it ended badly. LET GO. You have a responsibility to everyone you influence, and that responsibility is to roll with the punches. The truth is, love really doesn't have to last forever to be beautiful. You have a responsibility to enjoy love to the fullest, and when it's over, go, and move on to the next chapter in your life within six months.
"The mind, once stretched by an empowering idea,
can never fully shrink to its original dimensions."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, paraphrased
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