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Southern Speed Dating a truly unforgettable experience! "101k" 800x600 "144k" 1024x768 "417k" 2048x1536 (8x10 print version) |
Check out these three cuties. Alas girls, these livin' dolls are all married. They're just characters decked out in costume at the Cookson Jubilee in Cookson Oklahoma. Every time I look at them though, they make me smile. Now on to the topic at hand: meeting someone new.
Don't you hate blind dates? Even if it's someone really nice, if the chemistry isn't there, there's no sense in getting together again. But you'd be rude to stop the date five minutes in, so you smile, nodding till your neck is sore and the date is over. If you're attracted to them and they're not attracted to you - that's bad. If they're attracted to you and you're not attracted to them - that's worse. It's no wonder we dread the experience.
I prefer internet dating to blind dates. Trouble is, in the best of circumstances, some folks fib. Seems they fib on internet dating sites more than anywhere else. That handsome fellow who seems so right, might just be a verbally adept thirteen year old. Arrrgh!! I had a date with an internet fibber who looked like he'd been a smoker for 20 years and he'd lost his toothbrush 21 years ago. His teeth seemed to be wearing their own individual little greenish yellow angora sweaters. Yuck! (Date lasted under one minute) But when you make it past the first date, still, at best, relationships are challenging. Relationships that start many miles apart are next to impossible. What's a wonderful single person to do? I'm banking on speed dating.
Speed dating has spread like wild fire. It was created by a rabbi in California as a means for single people to quickly evaluate potential partners. At speed dating events, a group of single men and woman get together to meet and interact following a time schedule and specific rules. Each pair gets seven minutes to chat before they must move on to the next ''date'' (usually eight total in one night). During this time you can ask your partner anything except his or her age, occupation and place of residence. The main idea is to focus on what the person is really like. When the bell rings, regardless of how much you enjoy the one you're with, you move on.
At the end of the evening the participants indicate on a card which (if any) of their partners appealed to them enough to get together again. If there's a match, phone numbers and email addresses are provided the following day.
While we're on the subject of meeting new romantic interests.... I want to suggest to women with kids: do NOT reveal you've got children until after the third date. Why? Because what he thinks of you is not nearly as important as protecting your children from predators; and pedophiles pursue women with children, not women without them. You risk a good guy saying you're not honest enough to suit him and moving on, but it's still worth it. You are your children's last line of defense. Protecting them is top priority.
Know what you're looking for before you go. When my daughters were young, they'd come home all excited about some new guy. They'd talk thirty minutes non-stop then ask what I thought of him. I'd tell them honestly, you haven't told me anything important about them. Their car, their looks, their charming compliments was all they talked about. I wanted to know their rules, values, beliefs, habits. I wanted to know how they talked about and treated poor kids, nerds, fat kids, bullies, their mother, their father. Now in my work, I encounter women of all ages who still allow themselves to fall for guys based on their looks, their job, their car, their compliments. I help them understand how their own focus creates the mess they get themselves into.
You'll never need to call me, cryin' about the mess your heart is in if you'll focus on the rules, values and beliefs most important to you and then focus on finding someone that shares as many of them as possible. I like to ask people how they feel about Rush Limbaugh, cause I can put up with a lot of things, but I will not tolerate a man who admires the likes of Rush. I don't require brilliance in my boyfriends, but they can't be blithering idiots either - no matter how good looking, smooth talking or rich they might be.
Last but not least: You are not perfect. (shocking perhaps, but true) Don't get disappointed to discover the love interests of your life won't be either. We all have our flaws and weaknesses. And women, just because men are different, it does not for a second indicate that we're better than they are, I don't care how many seemingly intelligent women on TV imply it. Men usually go too fast sexually. Women usually go too fast romantically. We're often more loving. But they usually love us unconditionally, just the way we are, while we mostly love the man we can turn him into. If most of the folks you've been involved with turned out to be rotten, it's not because most folks are rotten, it's just because your focus was.
Don't wait, if you haven't already started speed dating, sign up for a night of speed dating right now!
Articles:
Dating.About.com: Dating in the Fast Lane
Speed Dating: A New Form of MatchingMaking
AskMen.com: The Benefits Of Speed Dating
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