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Recipe for a Happy Mother's Day: always remember this translation: unsolicited advice = I love you. "45k" 640x480 | "61k" 800x600 |
Last week a gentleman suggested it was silly for me to continue to do my best to increase healthy happiness in our world as a way of honoring those we lost in the Oklahoma Bombing. The way we survived it was enough in his opinion. What he didn't take into account is I'm Okie to the bone. And "just" surviving letting the stupid guy win doesn't cut it for me today and it won't ever. So for the rest of my life, I'll look for shortcuts to increasing healthy happiness and decreasing unnecessary emotional suffering in our world. And that's why I've posted this wallpaper a month before Mother's Day. It's a pain reliever. 
One of the most painful misunderstandings between adult children and their mothers is unsolicited advice. I speak from both observation and experience. And I speak from experience both as the adult child and the parent of two of them. Oh how I've dreaded the visit where my mother would give me the gift of almost unceasing advice. I interpreted it as though she were saying "You're an idiot." over and over. And oh how I've suffered the pain of my own daughter's cutting my loving advice short. "Thank you Mother, but I'd rather do it myself!!" wasn't just a great line from an old commercial, but it's said one way or another daily, repeatedly, throughout our world.
In defense of meddling mothers, let me just say this.... it's not easy to do the same job every day for eighteen years and then quit it without a slip. I got RK surgery and gave up my glasses four years ago and some nights when I'm very tired, I still reach up to remove them. Old habits, especially important habits, die hard. And meddling may not be the best way to be a mother, but when you look at the meaning behind it, (I love you) it's not so bad after all.
My friend Mitchell is the best example of a good son I've ever seen. His mother, like most mothers, is a fountain of loving advice. He nods his head, responds with honesty, "Thanks, that's something I hadn't thought of Mom" "That's very interesting Mom, I'll consider that." and so on, and then though he thinks about it and considers it, he goes ahead and does exactly as he pleases. His mother, wisely, considers him a treasure.
So this year, to increase healthy happiness in your relationship with your mother, please consider hearing what she's really saying with all her unsolicited advice.... I love you. Appreciate it. Don't wait, appreciate it now. Trust me, once she's gone, no one will ever love you quite as sincerely or dearly again. Enjoy her now.
"The mind, once stretched by an empowering idea,
can never fully shrink to its original dimensions."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, paraphrased
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