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Carpe Mater Diem! Seize Mother's Day! Ask for her advice. Even consider it. She'll be thrilled! because giving advice = I love you. "155k" 800x600 "222k" 1024x768 "634k" 8x10 print size add a comment view recent comments |
I took this picture 3/10/2006 at the Fort Smith Lawn and Garden Show with my trusty 8 megapixel Nikon. I'm not sure these are roses. I should have checked, but whatever they are, they take my breath away.
She paused, her eyes watered up, she blinked back the tears and she looked down as she said, "Oh I'm sorry, I shouldn't have spoke to you that way. My kids always get mad at me for doing that. I know better. I know it's wrong." I could see it all over her tiny little frame, how she'd been "corrected" and learned that she was doing a bad thing by offering wise, helpful advice. And I told her sincerely, "No, no, I appreciate it. You're right. I'd a lot rather you point out what I was doing than have a thief prove it to me!" Then she was thanking me for thanking her and it degenerated into a mother to mother bonding and hugs all around sort of thing.
I can't tell her kids this, but I can tell you.... quit being so damn sensitive that you can't appreciate some loving advice. Some of us are just frail little old ladies. You might become a frail little old person yourself someday.
So what's the sweetest Mother's day gift you can give your Mom? I've been a grown daughter of a loving mother and I'm now the loving mother of grown daughters and I KNOW the answer.
This year, to increase healthy happiness in your relationship with your mother, please consider hearing what she's really saying with all her unsolicited advice.... I love you. Give her some unique and beautiful flowers, along with a card. In the card write that you would like to sit and take notes for 20 minutes, 30, (whatever you can comfortably handle) while she gives you any advice or wisdom she'd like to share. Set the time short enough that you really can drop the defenses and actually hear what she's saying. Appreciate it and later give it real consideration. Don't wait, appreciate it now. Trust me, once she's gone, no one will ever love you quite as sincerely or dearly again. This Mother's Day, take a break from suffering her advice and just for the fun of it - enjoy it, enjoy her now. Remember, it's not about what's wrong with you. It's about how much you are loved, whether it's expressed wisely and well or not.
Imagine it. It's the sweetest mother's day she'll ever have. That's a years worth of bragging rights to her friends. And it won't hurt you to actually use a bit of her advice. It doesn't make you less. It is the purest essence of generosity you can give to your mother. Come on, it's mother's day! A lovely meal, some beautiful, unique flowers, and listening with interest to her advice. I'll kiss your elbow if you can come up with anything that will thrill her more. Besides, a day of being listened to and considered, relieves a lot of the pressure of needing to share advice. See? There's something in it for everyone. That's why I'm sure it's a good plan in most cases.
"The mind, once stretched by an empowering idea,
can never fully shrink to its original dimensions."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, paraphrased
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