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First, a remembrance by Debbie Duvall:I'll never forget a conversation with Greg in which we were discussing all the squirrels to be found along (and on) the road to the village. He told me that the reason the squirrels dart back and forth and can't seem to decide which direction to run is due to the mental condition of the drivers. He said the mental chatter going on in the people's minds (ours) and all our interior confusion is picked up by the squirrels. Their inability to deal with all our jumbled thoughts causes them to race around in circles before our charging vehicles.
He said that if we could only clear our minds of this ceaseless babble, the squirrels would be much safer. the more I thought about this, the more I believed Greg to be right.
The last time I saw him I was loading up the pop machine, and of course, he asked me if I needed any help. It seems every time I saw him he was offering his assistance of striking up a friendly conversation.
I know how much you will miss him, and I will miss him too. But I believe wherever he has gone he will make that a better place.
I should have written a page similar to this a long time ago. But it took Greg's death to bring it to the web. I'll tell you about Greg. You may not like me as well when I'm done. Good. That'll make two of us.
Dear Reader, Remorse is a gift from God. It's telling you that you've broken one of your most important rules and that if you don't want to experience this kind of pain again, you'd best make some new rules to protect the first one. It's telling you to remember this pain and never do it again. I got the message the hard way. May you take it now and save a lot of grief.
He was hearing-impaired and we referred to him as deaf Greg. It wasn't meant to be a put down and it was never to his face. It was only meant to be clear which Greg we were talking about at the time. It was shorter and easier than saying Greg from up at Sparrowhawk Village. He was a friend of my best friends, Fred and Deanna.
He looked a lot like Michael Bolton. He was slim and good looking, with a beautiful smile and he could give you the most understanding kindest looks sometimes. Funny considering he drove me nuts. He was his own special kind of person. Communication was extremely difficult. He would talk and then when it was my turn to talk, a lot of times he would close his eyes so he couldn't hear me. Sometimes it seemed like he would disagree just to keep the conversation going.
Over the last year Greg seemed to get more and more irritating. I knew of at least three different homes where he was asked to leave or not to come back. Mine wasn't one of them but only because he already knew from the looks I gave him that I became irritated at the sight of him.
Greg died about two weeks ago. It's estimated he was dead for ten days before anyone found him. There was no evidence of foul play. He was not a druggie. The autopsy report is not yet complete and I'm sure there are many of us holding our breath and praying that it wasn't suicide.
Greg may have been deaf, but I was blind.
At the beautiful memorial service held for him today at Sparrowhawk Village I met some of his friends and neighbors. During the service many stood up and told a story about him or shared a few words from a book for him. Two women had written poetry and prose for him. One the day after she met him. The other the day after he died. I'll include those on this page. I want you to see what I finally saw today. Greg may have been deaf, but I was the one that had been blind. I came face to face with my own selfish, self-righteous, snobbery today. Sometimes when you get your sight back what you see isn't always so pretty.
Here's what I left out about Sweet Greg....
Remember what I told you about Greg in the preceding paragraphs? Well here's what I left out. The picture painted in the comments of his friends and neighbors today was a Greg that was always there. He was always willing to help anyone out. He was a worker. He was almost always ready to offer a sincere smile or a gentle hug. He was not moved by material things but heart got to him big time, so did animals and little kids and the elderly.
I missed it. I missed out on enjoying Greg as much as I could have because I chose to focus on how irritating he could be. I shut my eyes to the good of him many times. I'm not the only one and that's still not much consolation. Yes, he could be irritating. But he was sincere and sweet and good. And by closing my eyes to those facets of him I robbed myself and became one of the many that must now hold my breath waiting to find out, was it suicide.
And if it wasn't suicide, that's still not much consolation because the facts still remain the same. A good and sweet and sincere person was a part of my life and I chose to only focus on the worst in him.
My remorse alone benefits no one. It hurts and I earned every tear. But my rule is that we must honor those we lost with good works. What could I do to honor Greg? Only this and it may not be much, but it's the best I can do for now..... to tell you this truth in hopes that if there's someone in your life that has seemed pretty irritating one way or another, that this page will get you to stop and remember that we tend to get what we focus on and we have to live with the consequences eventually, whatever they are.
There are so many mistakes to learn from that none of us have time to make them all ourselves. Sometimes we must learn from the mistakes of others. Hopefully some who read this page will be smart enough to learn from my mistake instead of finding themselves at a memorial service for a good person wondering how in the world I could have been so damn blind and so incredibly unkind.
Dear Sweet Greg, I know you're in heaven and you hear beautifully now. I know you forgive me. I know eventually I will to. I pray your tears of loneliness and mine of remorse will touch some who read this page and give them sight before it's too late for someone like you and even someone like me.
I MUST be kind....
Dear Reader, Remorse is a gift from God. It's telling you that you've broken one of your most important rules and that if you don't want to experience this kind of pain again, you'd best make some new rules to protect the first one. It's telling you to remember this pain and never do it again. My two new rules are: I MUST be kind and I MUST focus on the best in people, both for their sake and for mine. I got the message the hard way. May you take it now and save a lot of grief.
I have different beliefs than a lot of folks. I believe remorse and repentance are gifts and they must be utilized together to get the full benefit. I had been slipping back into old hateful habits. I'd felt guilty and prayed for forgiveness for being hateful to Alan, Bette and Ice. But I didn't repent. I didn't make any new rules that kept me from being hateful to anyone else. I was being hateful to Greg and didn't even notice. If I'd repented already, I'd have had to notice. Repentance is making strong new rules to live by that protect you from doing such a thing.
My two new rules are: I MUST be kind and I MUST focus on the best in people, both for their sake and for mine.
Here is the link to the church Greg attended in the village that was built around the church. Sancta Sophia and the Light of Christ church
And here is a link to a photo gallery that would make Greg smile, awwww and laugh out loud. Squirrel Gallery
God Bless us all.
YOUR RIGHTS
You have the right to be kind.
You have the right to be compassionate.
You even have the right to forgive.
These are your God given rights.
Everything you say and do
can and will affect your world.
"65K" 640x480 | "77k" 800x600
To Greg ...
NATURE'S TRUE SPIRIT
To those who cherish loving,
unconditioned and divine-
this gentle loving spirit
shows the grand design.
Through innocence and wonder,
he sees a beauteous life-
where elves and diva's laughter
combine with piper's fife.
There is no pain or sorrow
in this vision place he dwells,
only joy and loving
proclaimed by fairy bells.
This soul has innate knowing
of tree, of leaf, and flowers-
he walks with Earth and Heavens
and understands their powers.
Perhaps he is a leprechaun
who came to show the way
to the golden treasure
hidden in each day.
Lifetimes of care and trial
were carefully recorded;
now he's one who walks in grace-
who's faith has been rewarded.
His joy and gentle nature
is God's own great delight
because he helps discover
our own unending LIGHT.
With LOVE & BLESSINGS to you my Brother
copyright Faythe Wallace-Miller
"The mind, once stretched by an empowering idea,
can never fully shrink to its original dimensions."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, paraphrased
Every single one of the the three hundred plus pages of this site was built to draw you here to see this one page. Look. See for yourself what I consider so important I'd go to such lengths to share it.
Thank you for sharing this page with your friends.
Your thoughts and feelings are important to me.
Talk to me.
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Tahlequah, OK
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